A couple of friends were talking on Twitter earlier about kitchen utensils, and one mentioned a cookie gun. My thoughts immediately lept to a gun that shot mini cookies instead of bullets. Of course, reality smashed its way in just a few seconds later to remind me that such a thing wouldn't actually exist. Which makes me sad, as I bet a cookie gun would work much better than a regular gun:
Man 1: Get your hands off my woman, you no-good varmint!
Man 2: Why should I? What are you going to do about it?
Man 1: This! *shoots gun*
Man 2: Ha! You fool! Instead of a bullet, your gun shot a cookie at me! And now instead of dying, I shall eat the delicious cookie! *noms cookie*
Man 1: HA! You forgot to ask what type of cookie it is!
Man 2: Why, it appears to be some sort of chocolate chip cookie.
Man 1: Not quite. It's actually a POISON chip cookie!
Man 2: Oh no! *dies*
Just pause for a second, and imagine how much more awesome the lobby shootout scene in The Matrix would be if all the guns shot out cookies. Way more awesome, am I right?
So I'm dissatisfied; I love dissatisfied.
I love to feel there's always more that I need.
Neo would be so damn fat! Bullet time cookie eating is bad for a man!
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